Welcome Maryann, my other little sister! Maryann is one of the hardest workers you’ll ever meet and she’s also extremely sweet (didn’t mean to rhyme there. 🙂 But beware dynamite comes in small packages! Or maybe that’s only directed at me. haha Give her some comment love!
Hi everyone! Before I get started I wanted to take a quick minute to introduce myself. My name is Maryann Frances. I am Kate’s “baby doll.”  I’m pretty in pink but I know how to get dirty. I consider myself a “fighter.” I’ve survived stitches, broken bones, contusions, snake bites, a couple wrecks, the little rock marathon, about ten million roller coasters and one little tumor. I love four wheelers, hunting, fishing, football, and high heels. I’m the runt of the family. My brothers are both well above six foot tall, both my sisters tower above me, and I barely scooted in past 5 foot. My mother always told me dynamite comes in small packages, and I’m not too humble to tell you that dynamite never looked so pretty.
Since this blog is called Mommy Monologues, and I’m not a mother I had to search my soul for awhile to find material I thought related to Kate’s audience. A few things I found in this search were my closest experiences with the miracle of birth
I have had several jobs. I have engraved jewelry, waited tables, sold chicken wings (“mild, hot, or atomic, would you like fries with that?”), sold newspapers (door to door sales on crutches SUCKS), taught piano lessons, taught singing lessons, worked in stockrooms, cleaned houses, waited MORE tables, been a bank teller, promoted to loan officer (still am! J) and most recently: I am a part time nanny.
On one hand I know I’m being paid to clean up after him, so that’s fine, and I am also being paid to make sure he behaves. But am I being paid to teach him manners? Am I being paid to RAISE him? I’m lost. I want him to say “Dearest Maryann, who is so kind to watch after me, play with me, read to me, tuck me in at night, and listen to my every word, will you please help me clean up my mess that I was so silly to make?”
I got schooled on manners by a kindergartner once when I burned popcorn while babysitting.
Me: I hate it when that happens!
5-year old: We're not supposed to say "hate". It's a bad word.
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First of all: Your experiences with child birth are hilarious!
Second, on to your question: Tempered discipline is the key. It is perfectly ok to say "Because it is annoying." I would add "And you could me or yourself." As a former nanny (I think to the same family) I would advise discipline but do it nicely. Speak in calm tones, never yell and don't spank. As problems arise ask the mother what discipline method she prefers or how she would handle certain situations.
aw, i love your family, kate!
i don't mind if someone is telling my kiddo when he's doing something wrong, once…if i'm there, i then step in & say – i got it.
Wow…you are far more patient than I! First of all, I also think it's totally acceptable to say it's annoying. You could also say that one of you could get hurt (you don't have to say HOW…) : )
And if ANY child said to me "Kerri, you better clean that up." I woud come unglued. My son just turned 4, and he knows what manners are. And he will use them, or he will get nothing. I would ask the mom 1. to talk to her rude child and ask him to respect you, 2. tell the little darling that he will respect you or have ZERO fun, and 3. 4 year olds know a lot more than we give them credit for.
For the taking toys away thing…that's a toughie. Jacob goes to daycare one day a week so I don't completely lose my mind, and Shawn will act like he does; for example, if he takes a toy away from someone, when HE has a toy, SHE takes it away and asks him how it feels. Or if he constantly interrupts, she will interrupt him and he gets the point.
Good luck, girlfriend! Better you than me!
When I use to work as a nanny I had the same problem, I think it varies depending on the family. I would think that the best thing to do would be to discuss it with the kid's parents, so you have guidelines and don't have to second guess your actions. Also, now that I have a nanny, I certainly prefer that she discipline rather than let my kids do whatever. Of course, you have to be nice about it, mother's can also be a tad over-protective….. Good luck, and enjoy the fact that you can go home to peace and quiet when you're done!! 🙂
Thanks everyone for the advice!! I told the little guy NO for the first time on Saturday. His response was classic: "Maryann..when you tell people no it makes them not like you anymore." I laughed soo hard!!
Ok so my take on this is more like if I am paying someone to come and spend there time with my babies (which I have to say I don't at this time), then I expect them to respond how they see fit. AKA, PLEASE TEACH THESE LITTLE BRATS manners if they are being brats! I would also say when my mother-in-law reprimands my babes thats when I get a little annoyed haha!
I would have a conversation with the mother or even father about what they would like your role to be. No is never a bad word to use!
I'm also not a momma, but I am a nanny. So, I do think I am paid to discipline the children. And will put them in timeout or have a discussion if it needs to be done. Usually if the parent is around, whoever responds first handles the discipline. Just this week, 4 year old but 2 year old. I saw it, mom didn't. I took care of the situation. Also, at least in my case, the parents usually like to see how I handle situations. Ive been told this. Now last week one of the girls ran outside while mom and I were having our end of day discussion. Mom was the one to catch it and took care of it. Also, I absolutely teach manners! I also teach Preschool 2 days a week. My class absolutely does not get wha they ask for without and please and thank you. They will not when and get what they want, they must ask for it (I teach 2 year olds). And frankly, I couldn't care less what they are taught at home. When they are in my classroom or care, my rules go, period. I have definitely discussed all of this with both the parents I nanny for and the parents of my classroom and have never had anyone disagree.