You know you’re an addict when:
It’s several hours past the usual time you go to bed. Your kiddo is going to be up at the butt crack of dawn, but you can’t go to sleep because you must have your fix. But you can’t find what you need. So you’re searching & searching & searching.
Panicked thoughts are running through your head: “I just had it.” “Where is it?” “Is it in the car?” “I swore it was in my purse.”
Your hands start sweating, your mouth goes dry–please just find my chap stick. Yes, this is all over chap stick.
You run to the car, it’s now 2 hours past your usual bedtime. You don’t care. You need that chap stick. Your lips are screaming at you. You’re miserable. “GOD, please, please I need my chap stick.” It’s not in the car.
You go back to your purse. You’ve already checked there a million times thinking that somehow it’s going to magically appear if you will it to. Finally, you discover TWO tubes of chap stick under the lining of your purse.
How in hell did it get there? You’re frantically searching for holes, your lips are getting more pissed by the moment. You decide to take a pair of scissors to your favorite purse. You can’t find that damn hole. You have no idea how those tubes got under the lining. You cut a tiny hole in the bottom of the purse, dig the chap stick out, and put it to your lips.
“HEAVEN!” your lips scream.
You turn off the lights, lay your head down on your pillow & start thinking about your beautiful purse with the gaping hole in it. And your last thought before you drift off to sleep is, “Absolutely, positively, totally worth it.” And then you sleep happy.
Yeah, that’s when you know that you must.find.chap stick.anonymous.
I can't see, hear about, or think of Chap Stick without thinking of the Mothman Prophecies. CHAP STiCK!!! It was a Richard Gere movie.
Anyway, now that I've had my memory lane moment, you totally need a support group! And maybe some extra tubes of Chap Stick to get you through.
hahahahaha….My om is a bit of an addict and has them littered all over the house!
I seriously have a tube of chapstick every where. I have about 4 in the medicine cabinet in our bathroom. 3 in my purse, 1 on my night stand, 2 at work, and 2 in the diaper bad. I am an addict as well and now after reading your post, I had to dig our my favorite from my purse and put it on. When you find that support group let me know!
I can't live without it! I have two with me at alllll times 🙂 And wow! You have much more followers! That's awesome!
I agree: when you're jonesin for a hit of chapstick, its impossible to think of anything else! However, I have those exact symptoms several times a day… because I misplaced my iPhone! :-p
I'm with you on the chapstick….have them everywhere, and panic just a bit when it's not where I think I left it!
Hubby, on the other hand, has NO use for the substance at all, and thinks it's just a waste of wax and packaging. But if I didn't use it, I'm pretty sure he wouldn't want to kiss my desert-dry, gnarly puckered lips!
Wow, that is a fiery hot addiction. I think I might have just hopped into the car and hit up the nearest 7 Eleven for a new tube, had I been that desperate. But thankfully, you were able to find your secret stash of 2, even if it did require defiling your purse.
I had a friend once who had an addiction like I've NEVER seen. She literally was applying and reapplying chapstick, or soft lips, or carmex or whatever every 10 minutes ALL DAY LONG! I swore then that I'd NEVER use chapstick. And I really didn't for many years. Now…..I gotta have my fix.
i've got one in every corner of the house..if not i can always raid the kids rooms! haha
poor friend!
WOW We must find you chapstick anonymous. This is out of hand. Think how you addiction may be affecting your family members. Addictions are not pretty. You have reached the first step though by admitting you have a problem.
Ok all seriousness.. love the post lol
my lip balm [heh – old word] of choice is Burt's Bees, and I have like 25 tubes. Those feelings you describe, though? That's me when I can't find my phone. I literally get heart palpitations and stop whatever I'm doing.
That ain't a good problem.
i always need some sort of lip balm. i'll see you at the next meeting.
LOL, I am the exact same way. If I can't find my chapstick, watch. out. ! If you form a chapsticks anon. let me know. 🙂
Thank goodness I'm not the only one! I'm totally ADDICTED!
I too can't stand it when I can't find my chapstick! I always have a tube in my purse, and a few at home, but there are still days when they all seem to be missing.
I'm telling you CA needs to happen!!! I think I had like 10 or so women who were agreeance with me! We can be the founders, I'll bring some double chocolate brownies!
I love my chapstick…. but woah…. lol! Love your blog!