Dear Phantom BabyNappers,
I hate you. I loathe you. I see you lurking outside of my house at night secretly waiting for my husband & I to loosen our guard to let you take our son. I know that as soon as Lboy is sound asleep a silent alarm goes off in your babynapping compound & you all pile into some stupid Chester Chester Child Molester Mobile. I know that you are after him, my precious angel. Just know I see you, just know I’m watching, just know you can’t have him.
Dear Suffocation,
I hate you. I loathe you. I see you too. I see you every time I put my son down to sleep. I feel you as my lungs feel the sharp pangs of fear that you will take him too. I hate that I have panicked thoughts about a stuffed animal in a crib because “Lboy could roll over, his mouth could land on the dogs belly, the fur of the dog could cause him to stop breathing….” This is usually when you make me jump up like a mad woman & go running to his crib & make sure he is still there alive & well.
Dear Anxiety,
I hate & loathe you the most. I hate that you keep me up at nights fearing ghostly shadows in the form of those damn babynappers. I hate that you have me checking the monitor so I can hear breathing sounds every.chance.I.get. I hate that you have me mistrusting the 90 year old man in the parking lot with tennis balls on his walker, HIS WALKER, for goodness sakes. I know he’s after my baby.
Or the girl eyeing me at the park, I know she’s emotionally deranged & is going to come after my baby, her pink butterfly tattoo told me so. Or the ice cream truck that plays that creepy “Do your ears hang low” song–this is the ultimate Chester Van. I know that the secret society of child molesters/babynappers are behind ice cream trucks. And I know they are after my baby.
Screw you anxiety! You are to blame for this!
To all three of you–you can not have me.
Sincerely,
A Mama Who Won’t Take It
False Expectations Appearing Real= FEAR
Did you struggle/deal with this when you were a first time mom? Does it ever leave?! 🙂
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Preach it, mama!! All I have to say is "yeah, what you said!!"
I hate having to worry about things out of my control. And I KNOW FOR A FACT that those damn phantom baby nappers are out there…and that is just sad 🙁
Thanks for putting it out there – it's how 99% of us mommies feel!
I'd love to tell you that it gets easier with multiple children but it doesn't.
I am incredibly incredibly paranoid and have horrible anxiety!
You learn to deal with it a little better but it's always there!
I feel the same way! Especially, the breathing thing and my son is almost 18 months old. I still check several times a night!
Thanks for voicing every new mom's anxieties!!
I hear you! It's so tough, balancing anxiety with the ability to keep it together and keep moving in the name of motherhood. It'd be so very nice if the anxieties would just go away!
Hugs 🙂
Get out of my head! This letter should be a pre-req read for moms to be so they know what to expect!
No. It never ENTIRELY leaves. But you know, now that I have an heir, a spare, and another spare, it's not so bad 😉
Seriously, though, there are certain things that DO get easier after your first. We haven't used a baby monitor w/ #2 or #3. I don't worry when they first start sleeping on their tummies.
But the other stuff? Like child predators, other stuff that we have no control over? Yeah. Still scares the pants off me.
I totally know how you feel. It's like every time I get in the car with Claire I am afraid of a drunk driver slamming into us. Even on Sunday in a dry county!
I try to ease that with a little prayer, but sometimes I feel it creeping back in, like when she first started sleeping through the night, I thought I would go in the next day and me not waking up to her cries meant she would be dead.
I try to focus on the things I can control. I know it's cliche, but otherwise I think I'd be crazy, really mental, thinking about it all.
I guess it never entirely goes away if not get worst as our babies grow up – well at least for me it does. So many what ifs in my head if I listen to them all I'd be in a restraining jacket by now 😀
I'm glad i'm not the only one who finds the ice cream truck song creepy. do da doo CLAP CLAP do da doo CLAP CLAP…AHHH!! it's supposed to be like "yaaayyy ice cream" but i get more weirded out than anything. Chester Chester van hahahahahaha made me laugh.
Chelsea
This is fantastic! If you have it, it never leaves!!! I swear. I have a 10 year old and a almost 3 year old and I do worry. i will never be one of those people who says, "Oh, she is going to be fine, we live in a safe neighborhood." I just know that the one time i don't lock the door, that is it, and the babynappers will come!
i'm sorry, kate. it is unfortunate the things nowadays we need to worry about with our kids.
Oh sweetie, most of us go through that and it DOES lessen…I don't think it ever goes away completely, but it won't cripple you. Promise!
LOL! Great post. I don't even have kids and I could relate. Love the FEAR acronym. Anxiety plagues many, not just moms, and it does get better. (okay, not always but a lot of the time it does!) I bet writing this post actually helped in some way. 🙂
Hoping it lessens day by day for you. But, in my short experience, it has yet to go away completely.
Love your blog…sorry I haven't stopped by in a while, but come on over & pick up an award!
http://lumpsonablog.blogspot.com
I'm right there with you on the suffocation thing. I go and check on HRJ multiple times a night. I fuss with his blanket all the time.
Go get yourself one of those video monitors. You can keep an eye on him at all times!
I have an award for you over on page!
I am just seeing this post as I lurk on your blog and read your archives! I love this post! I found myself really relating through most of it! From someone who suffers from severe generalized anxiety, I applaud your honesty and love posts like this!!
Dee